Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just found puke in my bra..
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize