haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
