Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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