I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I didn't notice because vodka
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Randomize
