O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
