id be glad to
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
