Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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