i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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