She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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