living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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