I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
