Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
