he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
