sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
