And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
