I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
