new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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