is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
