and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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