found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
