Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
