I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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