fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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