remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
