my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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