but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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