I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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