On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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