I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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