i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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