ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
