You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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