omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
