Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
