I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
