Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
