If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
