ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
