fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
