There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
