i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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