and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
