i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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