she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
