Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
