so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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