can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
