The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just pee around me
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
