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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
