I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
