her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My ass is underappreciated
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
